Trees and Such

Dear Trees,

While I appreciate that you have very quiet sex, can you please stop? Not only did you get tree come all over my car, but my nose hurts like a lot.

Allergic to you, V. Wishes

Dear "friends" who went to David Sedaris without me and that I found out by accident after the tickets were sold out,

I hope that you took the 4 or so books of his that I own to have signed.

I can't guarantee that the elves won't get you. Your "Friend"

Dear Rent gods,

Please let me be the more viable person.

Thanks, She who needs a new place to call home.