viciouswishes: (sheppard faking it)
[personal profile] viciouswishes
Title: In Between the 1,345th Game of Solitaire
Author: viciouswishes
For: kimberlyfdr
Fandom: SGA
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard
Setting: Post-"Duet"
Rating: G
Words: 1,177
Request: SGA: John/Rodney, Lorne knowing about them and being totally cool with it.
Summary: "I had a gay uncle, sir."

"I miss ribs," Rodney says. "I miss eating them with my fingers and having to change my shirt afterwards. My freshman year roommate made this perfect sauce. Of course, he was an idiot when it came quantum, but brilliant behind a grill."

John looks up from his game of solitaire. "Ah huh." Ribs do sound good. Of course, at this point, anything sounds better than another day of meatloaf surprise. They really need to recruit some of those Top Chef rejects the next time they go to Earth for new personnel.

"How can you do that all day?" Rodney points at John's laptop.

"Do what?" John smiles. Usually his smiles make Rodney stop and sidetrack into another argument or conversation.

"Solitaire. It's so..." Rodney snaps his fingers. "Mindless."

John turns slightly so his screen isn't facing Rodney anymore. "It's relaxing. And what are you doing?"

Rodney collapses his laptop toward his chest. "Very important things."

"Like what?"

"Making sure we have adequate firewalls and virus protection on each and every computer in Atlantis."

John snorts. Rodney might know computer IT but he isn't going to waste his time playing systems admin. "You mean snooping for porn on other people's computers."

"I would never do such a thing." Rodney's starting to blush; John's not sure why considering that time where Rodney accidentally gave him the wrong USB drive. And wow, the things he did not need to know about Rodney's tastes in porn.

"Sure." John makes the computer deal again. "Find anything good?" They always enjoy new porn, which can be hard to get when they're a galaxy away from file sharing programs and X-rated Netflix-type services. Or the shelves behind curtains of local video stores, which is always how John prefers to find porn, guaranteed never to give his computer a virus.

"Sadly no." Rodney frowns, disappointed that the Atlanteans aren't more interesting. "Except that Major Lorne seems to think we're dating."

"What? We're not dating," John says. He really can't think of anything else to say. Lorne wouldn't think they were dating, and he definitely wouldn't be journaling about it on his computer.

"I know that. But he seems to think otherwise." Rodney goes quiet and clicks rapidly on his keyboard. "Hey, do you think we could have a barbeque on the outer-"

"McKay." John's annoyed. Figuring out how to deal with Lorne's assumption is more important than eating hamburgers.

But Rodney's got a one-track mind. "What, I like grilled meats and macaroni salads. But never potato salad. It always tasted like mush or a really disappointing attempt at Thanksgiving dinner."

"We need to tell Lorne."

"There's nothing to tell Lorne." Rodney pulls a power bar from his pocket. "However, maybe you can get his teammate Cadman to talk to Novak about sneaking beer in the next supply run." Cadman. Rodney always gets squirmy every time her name comes up.

"I thought Cadman was your buddy," John says. Maybe Cadman can talk to Lorne. Women always seem to have a better finesse when it comes to asking personal, sensitive questions.

"Do not even make that joke." Rodney makes a kicked puppy face. He must be learning some bad habits from his niece. "Beer, Sheppard. Beer."

"Oh, I know." John thinks about the last time he had a nice, cold beer. It'd really been too long. "We're not gay."

Rodney's giving him his 'the pet gerbil I had in third grade was smarter than you and he ran around in a wheel for hours' look. "I know that."

John's tired of talking in circles. "But Lorne doesn't." When will Rodney understand the consequences? Even being accused of being in relationship with Rodney could kill his career, kill his command, the respect of his fellow soldiers, and his job, which he happens to like very much. This is not something he wants to be considering on his relaxing day off.

"Are you still stuck on that?" Rodney asks like he's mentioning how Sheppard failed once again to convince any of his team members to learn to golf.

"Yes. Aren't you?"

"No."

"Why not?" Sheppard insists and only gets silence. Rodney's clearly gone back to snooping on people's computers and expects John to continue his game like nothing's happened. Maybe Rodney likes the idea that Lorne thinks they're dating or that Rodney's dating anyone, especially after the disaster with Katie Brown.

"He doesn't care," Rodney finally says.

"How do you know he doesn't care?" John's fingers are digging into his mattress.

"Because he said so."

John blinks. How long has Rodney known that Lorne's thought this? Clearly, long enough to get some answers. "You asked him?"

"No." Rodney sighs the way he does when he has to explain anything technical to Ronon. Or to John for that matter. "I found out the same way I found out that he thinks we're gay."

"Oh." John feels stupid. Of course, Rodney wasn't going to confront Lorne. Rodney doesn't like to talk about relationships anymore than John does or talk about not relationships, not having relationships of any romantic kind-

"Apparently, his uncle's gay and in the Navy." Rodney starts to hum and punches more buttons on his computer. John wonders how many times Rodney's gone through his computer.

John snorts. "Yeah, the Navy."

"Hello, sailor, Canadian over here." Rodney points to the badge on the side of his uniform.

"Don't mention hockey."

"Did I say anything about hockey?"

"You were about to. Every time you start in on Canadian superiority, you start talking about hockey." For once, John would like to make Rodney sit down and watch a football game. Maybe take Rodney to a stadium and have beer and hotdogs.

"It's a sport of kings," Rodney says.

John rolls his eyes. "That's horse racing."

"Whatever. A perfect day is a day at the ACC with a stack of ribs and a beer and the Leafs winning." Judging by the look of contentment on Rodney's face, there's a good memory in there somewhere.

"Leafs suck," John says because now it's easy to tease Rodney. And John likes to. Now that he knows Lorne isn't going to be reporting to O'Neill about John's non-relationship with Rodney.

"You suck. You don't even like hockey."

John thinks that he just might have to familiarize himself with hockey just enough to cheer for the Leafs' biggest rival. "I know. I just like the face you make when I say that."

"Barbeque?" Rodney's clearly back on sauces and finely cut racks of meat.

"We'll talk to Elizabeth." John considers his attack. He'll tell Elizabeth that it would be good for moral. That they could invite the Athosians from the mainland and make a day of it. Maybe he could even convince Rodney the value of football with a game. "No wonder Lorne thinks we're gay."

Rodney shakes his head. "Are you still going to talk to him?"

"Fuck no." John's not gay and he and Rodney are not in a relationship so it doesn't matter. And John goes back to playing his 1,345th game of solitaire.

on 2008-01-15 06:21 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] zulu.livejournal.com
So, so married. But at least John's reassured! Loved the pacing of this, perfect for a day-goofing-off sort of lounge.

on 2008-01-16 03:21 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] viciouswishes.livejournal.com
Yes, he's very reassured. :D Thank you.

on 2008-01-15 09:28 am (UTC)
shaddyr: (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] shaddyr
OMG. This? *so* adorable! THANK YOU!!

::loves::

on 2008-01-16 03:59 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] viciouswishes.livejournal.com
Glad you enjoyed it. They can be adorable when they're not even trying. ;)

on 2008-01-15 12:42 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] wesleysgirl.livejournal.com
Awwww, this is really adorable, in the just-sweet-enough but not-too-sweet way. :-D

on 2008-01-16 04:00 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] viciouswishes.livejournal.com
Thank you.

It could never been too sweet for they are manly men. Yes. :)

on 2008-01-15 12:57 pm (UTC)
ext_2410: (Canada Man)
Posted by [identity profile] kimberlyfdr.livejournal.com
Loooooorne! And the boys are so married :D THANKS!!!

on 2008-01-16 04:01 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] viciouswishes.livejournal.com
You're welcome. I'm glad that you enjoyed them. *g*

on 2008-01-15 01:56 pm (UTC)
aimeelicious: (SGAsmirk_bybelisse)
Posted by [personal profile] aimeelicious
They are just so adorkable. Great piece of fic =)

on 2008-01-16 04:02 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] viciouswishes.livejournal.com
Yes, they are. Thank you. :)

on 2008-01-15 02:34 pm (UTC)
ext_1720: two kittens with a heart between them (txtls - galoshes)
Posted by [identity profile] ladycat777.livejournal.com
hahahaha, boys. I love how unconcerned Rodney is, both about Lorne and John.

So very married. :D

on 2008-01-16 04:03 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] viciouswishes.livejournal.com
Rodney is far more concerned about finding the newest episodes of Battlestar Galactica porn. ;)

Yes, they are.

on 2008-01-15 04:36 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] stultiloquentia.livejournal.com
Oh, man. That's awesome.

on 2008-01-16 04:04 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] viciouswishes.livejournal.com
Thank you. :D

on 2008-01-15 06:09 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] blueswan9.livejournal.com
Oh, I do like this, very much. Boys!

on 2008-01-16 04:04 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] viciouswishes.livejournal.com
Thank you. :D

on 2008-01-15 06:31 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] kensieg.livejournal.com
They could always get some BBQ takeout from Dreamlands. Just down the road from Gunter-Maxwell AFB in Montgomery, AL.

Wonderful story!

on 2008-01-18 11:06 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] viciouswishes.livejournal.com
Well, since I'm not from the part of the country (and am a vegetarian), my Sheppard and McKay wouldn't even know to go to some place like that. ;)

Thank you!

on 2008-01-19 03:48 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] kensieg.livejournal.com
I'm a carnivore and so is my husband who used to work at Gunter-Maxwell AFB. I lived in Montgomery, AL for 5 years before we moved to Dallas. We've eaten at Dreamlands and it's very good BBQ.

on 2008-01-15 08:08 pm (UTC)
ext_1771: Joe Flanigan looking A-Dorable. (Default)
Posted by [identity profile] monanotlisa.livejournal.com
Hee!

(Is there a tense switch in the first bits?)

on 2008-01-18 11:07 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] viciouswishes.livejournal.com
:D

(Ack. Yes. It's now fixed. Thanks.)

on 2008-01-15 10:24 pm (UTC)
cyanne: (Sens logo stylized)
Posted by [personal profile] cyanne
Love the banter and how they're so comfortable with each other. This has a great feel to it. And I love the idea of John as a Sens fan just to annoy Rodney. :-)

on 2008-01-18 11:08 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] viciouswishes.livejournal.com
Thank you. I'm glad that it worked for you.

And, of course John would like the Sens because the Sens are awesomesauce. :D

on 2008-01-16 12:14 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] mmmchelle.livejournal.com
John and Rodney being clueless is always a joy to read. It definitely brightened my time off.

on 2008-01-18 11:10 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] viciouswishes.livejournal.com
Glad to brighten your day. :)

on 2008-01-16 01:38 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] burntcopper.livejournal.com
heh. so married.

on 2008-01-19 01:15 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] viciouswishes.livejournal.com
They can be. :)

on 2008-01-16 02:22 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] chicken-cem.livejournal.com
I love how Lorne is almost inevitably cooler about this than people give him credit for being.

Also, the amount of BBQ that shows up in McShep is truly astonishing. Yours is certainly not the first, nor the last :) and damn, now I am hungry again.

I love the line, "No wonder Lorne thinks we're gay." DUH! Silly, silly man.

All my suspicions about what a cool guy Lorne can be seemed to come true canon-wise, last week, when he was the only one to speak nicely to Teyla about her pregnancy. (Ronon did the week before, but we expected that.)

on 2008-01-19 01:17 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] viciouswishes.livejournal.com
He totally is way cooler.

Yeah, fandom osmosis is amazing. Of course, who doesn't want to see Rodney try to eat ribs.

I was all swooning when Lorne was being nice to Teyla. And Jason was like "but it's about babies, you hate babies." He just didn't get the awesomeness of Lorne.

on 2008-01-19 02:05 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] chicken-cem.livejournal.com
I like the Lorne paints, too - that was awesome to learn. I generally hated "Sunday" because of them killing Carson, but it was neat we learned more about Lorne in that one scene.

on 2008-01-19 02:08 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] chicken-cem.livejournal.com
Of course, who doesn't want to see Rodney try to eat ribs.

But not with a side of lemonade.

Of course, there are whole fics where he goes into shock from the hidden lemon in various dishes, so, you know, I think some fans actually get off on torturing Rodney.

on 2008-01-19 03:52 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] kensieg.livejournal.com
he can have sweet tea, no lemon. Southern style is no lemon, extra sweet.

on 2008-01-20 10:47 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] viciouswishes.livejournal.com
Oh, there's no doubt that fans get off on torturing characters. There's the whole h/c category and the obsession with rape fic.

on 2008-01-21 01:42 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] chicken-cem.livejournal.com
I liked a bit of Spike/Xander hurt/comfort, if Spike was the one being hurt. But not rape, I never saw one of those. Thankfully I ran away from those.

on 2008-01-16 04:29 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] psyko-kittie.livejournal.com
Adorable and definitely an old married couple, minus the old, of course. :)

on 2008-01-19 01:17 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] viciouswishes.livejournal.com
Thank you. :)

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